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Cards (2nd Draft) – Part 12 (Ending)

Author’s note: This is the original ending. It’s pretty weak, in my own opinion, and my least favorite part about this story, but is included here for completeness. The final draft (which is currently being proofed and edited for release on Amazon’s store soon) has a much much MUCH more satisfying ending, I promise! Thanks for reading and for the positive feedback! If you like this version, you’re gonna love the final version as much as I do!

Jim sat on the bed staring off into space, her short legs dangling a couple of inches off the floor. She suppressed a sniffle and wiped the tears from her face with the sleeve of her shirt in a very unladylike manner.

The last few days had been surreal. Losing a loved one was always a shock to the system, but compounded with her other… changes, it just left her feeling about as disconnected from reality as humanly possible and still walking around.

Familiar faces became strangers with their actions. Complete strangers acted as if they were familiar to her, such as the gaggle of teeny-bopper friends who showed up at the funeral home to give her support in her time of need, friends that she had never laid eyes on before today.

She was sitting on an unfamiliar bed that was supposedly hers, gazing around an unfamiliar room that was supposedly hers, and in the closet hung a variety of unfamiliar pants, shirts, blouses and dresses, also supposedly hers.

The shock of losing her grandmother thankfully covered for the dazed state she had been in ever since she arrived ‘home’. Going with the flow meant merely moving in whatever direction her parents pointed her in, and the constant glassy-eyed look on her face was quickly dismissed by anyone who cared as being a state of grief.

But the grief wasn’t just for the loss of her grandmother. She was definitely sad for that, but his male logical mind knew that it was only just a matter of time after she had had the stroke last summer. The grief was mostly for the loss of her life–at least the one he knew.

“Jamie, honey? Are you okay?” Jim’s mom knocked softly on the door, startling the new girl a bit.

Jim still found it disorienting whenever he saw her. “Yeah mom, I’m just… not feeling like myself… That’s all.”

The woman sat down next to her daughter and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “We’ve all been so busy with the funeral and family and everything… I just wanted to make sure we aren’t forgetting you in all of the chaos.”

Feeling so small, emotional, and vulnerable in his mother’s embrace, Jim was instantly transported back to the time when he was a small boy and his mom had comforted him this exact same way.

The girl then wept in her mother’s arms.


Catholic school.

Why did it have to be Catholic school?

Well, probably because her parents were Catholic, but that didn’t stop them from sending the boy him to public school in his old hometown. But then, when she thought about it, the school system here had a reputation for not being one of the best and the brightest.

Still, so much for the successful streak of avoiding wearing anything too girly. “Doesn’t the Pope realize that dressing young girls in white blouses and plaid skirts had the opposite intended effect?” she groaned to herself as she adjusted the skirt and tried not to trip over the clunky black shoes.

First period (as in first class of the day–she had luckily so far dodged the monthly ‘visit’) had gone remarkably well. As much as Biology had kicked his ass last semester, the 7th grade variety made her feel like Einstein. Second period Algebra hadn’t gone quite as well, as Jim had never been a math man… er, girl, but she found herself at least grasping some of the concepts a little easier than he had the first time around when he took the class in 9th grade. Evidently, based on the higher level classes,  ‘girl Jim’ was supposed to be a lot smarter

All in all, the day had gone remarkably smooth with the exception of the little perverts drooling over her in Biology. He had done the same thing when he was their age (and gender), so he played along and teasingly showed them a little leg. Unfortunately, Sister Megan was watching as well and rapped her on the head with a ruler. The day wasn’t the disaster she was dreading. Things were looking up.

Almost on cue, her cell phone vibrated in her backpack. She sneaked a peak–not sure what the school’s policy was on electronics as he had had his Gameboy confiscated many times during his first trip through middle school–and saw the following message on the display:


Yes! Jim thought to herself. The plan was in effect! She was beginning to wonder if this day would never come.

But be alone at lunch? she thought to herself as she noted the 10:56 time on her phone display. But were they talking about their lunch on the East coast or her lunch time here in the Central time zone?

Her hand shot up quickly. “What is it Jamie?” Sister Helen recognized her as she was getting settled in to teach History.

“I need to use the bathroom.” Jim said, grabbing her backpack.

“Very well. Take the hall pass.” she pointed to the wooden board that had “HALL PASS” carved into it. “And come right back.”

Jim sprinted down towards the restrooms as the bell rang signaling the start of class. As she pushed on the door she bumped into a boy hurriedly exiting.

“Wrong one.” the boy laughed at her as he ran towards class.

“Not for long.” Jim said as she smiled and climbed into a stall. She still wasn’t 100% sure that this was going to work, but it was the best shot she had right now, because 13 year old girls don’t exactly have the freedom of travel. And besides it was magic.

She began shaking in joy as she felt the long-absent, but very familiar tingle sweep across her body.

“Yes!” she said way too loudly for trying to be discreet. Her breasts deflated and the long hair that had been the bane of her existence began to pull back into her scalp. The oddest sensation, though, was the buildup of pressure in her groin area as something began to push outwards, ovaries contracted and migrated lower, small testicles locking into place beside a new penis.

The phone buzzed again.


Jim smiled as he pulled out a pair of blue jeans and slipped them on. He wasn’t sure what size to buy, so they were a little long–he was disappointed to find that he had actually lost an inch or two in height, but then he was a late bloomer the first time around–they would do for now. He’d have new later after he laid low for awhile to let the reality shift to match.

He quickly texted back:


The situation wasn’t perfect. He was still 13, but at least he was the right gender again. They’d have to figure out a way to fix the rest later on. Besides, it would be nice to be one of the smart kids for awhile.

He opened the bathroom door and ran right into the head nun.

“What are you doing out of class?” she asked in her most rehearsed judgmental tone.

Jim held up the wooden hall pass.

“And then why aren’t you in your uniform?” she frowned.  “I don’t recall seeing you in this school before. Do I know you?” she said reaching out to grab him by the arm.

He slipped out of her grasp and made a fast dash to the nearest exit. “You will tomorrow!” he yelled back, voice cracking. And then he disappeared into the sunlight.


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5 Responses to Cards (2nd Draft) – Part 12 (Ending)

  1. It did feel like this ending was a little rushed, but I can understand the desire to just finish something. Glad you are taking another look at it, and will be sure to get that amazon book when available!

  2. I never had a problem with the ending, except for the fact it came too soon! I loved this story, and would have loved a few more chapters and misadventures. Really, I am looking forward to your latest version on amazon.

  3. well with the things you set in place I was expecting that maybe he’d have lost one or both testicles when he turned back and due to the trade ovaries with the other girl he might still have those which would leave him with only a prepubescent penis and being far enough away that the others couldn’t see the changes, they might age him to adulthood again. Thus he’d be college age with only a prepubescent penis, no testicles, a set of ovaries, and looking like a woman otherwise. After that point they could change whatever they want around, he’d never get any more masculine because the only male thing between all of them was a prepubescent penis with no male hormone producing testicles.

  4. Loved it when you posted it on Deviant Art, and love it now. Can’t wait to see a revised ending. The ending is a bit rushed. Too big of a time gap. I’d also love for Jim to have a hair swap with one of the girls whose mom makes her keep it long against her wishes. Would that affect Jim’s Mom who would not let her cut it? Or Karen could be more of a villain especially if she had a relationship with Jim’s mom and babysat for her or something. Karen taking Jim school shopping could be fun. Anyway, I love this story. Your writing is brilliant and your transformations are so original. I hope you publish this some time. I would buy it.

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